I wanted to say I am sorry that I was not here for a while, but then I realized that I am not. There is a saying: if you have nothing to say, shut the fuck up. Well, I had nothing to say.

I do have something to share today, although I am not sure that you will understand. One of my very best friends wanted to do something yesterday, which requires a lot of desperation and some courage. Someone stopped him and I am eternally grateful, as when I found out, I realized how much this particular friend is worth to me. I am lucky that he is still there.

I always took his cheerfulness, joyousness and wisdom for granted. I haven’t seen what I needed to see. I couldn’t, as he hid it well. I realized today though that I maybe should look harder. But that says a lot about us. About opportunities we pass on, about decisions we put away. About chances we miss because… whatever. About people, ideas, dinner, phone calls… all of that shit so many people said so many things about.

It’s all true.